Hey! Fuck you for calling me fuck you!
I need a drug sniffing dog to help me find my drugs.
I love taking my birth control with alcohol. Its like a twofer.
Tony’s would have been a quick in and out sausage….
There’s a fine line between sexy and narcoleptic
I will cut your Achilles tendon with lefty safety scissors
“She teethed it. She was a grown woman. I would have though she’d know how to work it by then.”
He hasn’t read a book since Goodnight Moon.
On Darrell Revis: “and he’s tiny so he’d probably rip me in half…. Cause he’s a black guy.”
C - It’s true, I went to take a bite of my cerviche and was like “oh that shrimp look like a clit” and straight into my mouth it went.
J - I know the feeling.
